Since embarking on this journey, I have walked just over 100 miles. This has been a combination of school runs, long walks with the children, pacing the house when the weather is bad or the kids are asleep, running up and down the garden with the kids etc….
The biggest challenge i face is my nearly 4 year old who loathes walking more than i do and will walk about 20 steps before either, throwing a paddy or sitting down and refusing to go any further. As we have moved house he is not yet in a preschool so the mileage will be higher from 18th April.
We have had some lovely walks though. Its been nice to reflect on Mum through these walks. To remember some lovely walks we went on together. For a while Mum and i would get up at 5.30 to walk the dogs before school when i was in 6th form. I hated getting out of bed for it, but when we got going I really enjoyed it. We had lovely family walks round Hengisbury head, on the beach, Delph woods, in the country side, with the brownie pack we ran. We would talk and talk all the way round and they never really seemed long enough. I am not a lover of exercise but i would give anything to have oe last walk with her.
Its been 3 and a half years since she died and every day is still a struggle. They say time is a healer and on the one hand i believe this is true. The grief has got easier to handle. I still have days when it is just about getting through the day. Mothers day weekend was like this. It was Mums birthday, mothers day and it was 3 and a half years since we lost her all at the same time. But those days become further apart and easier to deal with. However, the thing that grows with every passing hour that mum isnt her, is the missing her. I miss her more and more every single day and that will go on forever and nothing will stop it . This journey isn’t just about the miles, its about my journey without Mum. In the hope that something I say might be helpful to just one person going through something similar.
We have all lost someone. We all have causes we support and charities we donate to. This is my cause. This is my story. This is my challenge. Please support it if you can.